This proverb really makes sense to me and brings to mind another quote, commonly attributed to Albert Einstein which defines insanity as ‘doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results’.Different words, same message.
If you do what you have always done, then you will get what you have always gotten.
Not happy with how your life is playing out? It could well be time to change direction or approach.
Maybe you’re happy right where you are? Or maybe you feel not quite right but have no idea why? Or indeed maybe you know exactly which areas of your life are not working.
A complete 180 change in direction may not be necessary, or maybe it is. The point is, do you know?
Dr Phil has a lovely saying that goes something like this, ‘how’s that working for you?’ This simple expression reminds us of the importance of developing the habit of regularly taking time to reflect on all aspects of our lives. Look at your unconscious or conscious habits such as those related to eating, stress, health, exercise, relationships, money, self-talk, hobbies, play and commitments to name a few; and apply the question, ‘how’s that working for me?’ This can help you identify which areas in your life require a change in direction and which areas are working just fine.
It is hard to break out of jail if you have no awareness that you are in one in the first place. Self-reflection helps bring everything to our conscious awareness. Self-reflection is best done at a time when you can be left alone, quietly (it is possible, even for mums), with paper and pen. No distractions.
Take a few minutes to allow yourself to ‘quieten’. Focus on the natural in and out flow of your breath without judgement or the need to change the natural rhythm. This will bring your focus and attention inward, rather than on the million things going on outside of you. Let all that ‘stuff’ go.
Once you have centred yourself this way, you are ready to reflect.
Write down three things about your life that you feel work well; there is a natural ease and flow about these aspects of your life, and you associate them with an inner joy and peace. Take your time and do not worry if you can’t think of three. If you have more than three, fantastic, keep going until you have them all on paper. Once you have them all down, take some time to reflect on why these areas of your life work and write down all that comes to mind. It is important to be consciously aware of why what works, works, because these principles can be used to support the areas of your life which don’t.
Next write down three things about your life that do not seem to be working; where there is tension, stress, struggle, unhappiness or a feeling of dis-ease. Again, if you have only one, then write down one, if you have many, write them all down and identify the three you would like to address first. You don’t want to overwhelm yourself and you can address the others down the track. Once you have identified three, reflect on them. How do these things make you feel in your body, what thoughts come to mind, what emotions do you feel? Write down all that pops up, don’t over think it, allow them to be and take note of them.
Great!
This may take a little practice at first, especially if you have never reflected with purpose before, or like most of us, are used to burying everything away very deeply, after all ignorance is bliss is it not? Well, I can’t say I agree with that one, to say that not knowing is better than knowing and worrying implies that those are the only two options available. They are not.
Introspection is a skill that requires practice and development, just like training a muscle.
Maybe many issues arose for you and you have no idea what to do with all this new information? Seek out individuals who can help you with the three areas which came to light. For example, a personal trainer or gym can help you achieve fitness. A pilates instructor, yoga teacher or physio can help re-align your body, a Naturopath can help with health-related matters and nutrition, a counsellor or phychologist for emotional trauma/issues; it may be as simple as joining a group who engage in similar interests to you.
We have all said it at some point – ‘I don’t have time’. What we are really saying is – ‘that is not a priority for me’. We all make time every day to fit in what is important to us. If you decide that your own health, wholeness, emotional and physical well-being is a priority then you will make the time to fit in the changes necessary to support these areas.
Above all, be kind, patient and compassionate towards yourself. Rome wasn’t built in a day. If changes are needed in your life, allow yourself to take that path at your own pace. If you find yourself progressing well only to have it all come crashing down in a weak moment, give yourself a big warm cuddle, some encouraging words, then brush yourself off and keep moving forward.
There is nothing outside of you that can give you what you desire at the deepest level of your being. You are the one that can do it. Be to yourself the best friend of your dreams.
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